This is the worst story we’ve ever had to write

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13 days until Regionals starts.

“If cauliflower can somehow become pizza, you, my friend, can do anything.” — Unknown

PROBABLY THE WORST STORY WE’VE EVER WRITTEN.

But first…

You know that we love filling your mornings with something positive, but sometimes really crappy things happen and we can’t ignore them. We aim to keep you informed even when the topics really do suck, just like this one.

The story.

On April 12, a woman noticed something in the ceiling of the changing room at Switch CrossFit in Clinton Township, MI. That ‘something’ happened to be a hidden camera used to spy on female members.

What the Eff?!

After reporting the hidden camera to the authorities, the Clinton Township Police Department began an investigation and identified 34-year-old owner, James Krakowski as the suspect responsible and a felony warrant has been issued for his arrest. He’s being charged with one count of capturing/distributing image of unclothed person, which carries a five year felony.

So what happens next?

From local news outlets we’ve learned that Krakowski has hired a lawyer and plans to turn himself in. We’ll keep you updated.

NOW THERE ARE 8.

What happened?

Only seven women in U.S. history have ever clean and jerked twice their body weight. Last weekend, an 8th was added to that list: 25-year-old Kathleen Winters.

The other seven women are Melanie Roach, Tara Not Cunningham, Morghan King, Caitlin Hogan, Alyssa Ritchey, Jessica Lucero and Hayley Reichardt.

That’s a lot of weight.

Weighing in at 51.0 KG, Kathleen clean and jerked 102kg, which is 224 pounds for you North American folks, sweeping gold at the 2018 Altitude Athletics Spring Open in Bozeman, MT; a USAW sanctioned event. With a 80kg snatch, her 182kg total was actually the heaviest total of the day among all weight classes.

Isn’t she a 48kg lifter tho?

Correct. But she’s in the middle of cutting to 48kg for the 2018 USAW National Championships, which kicks off in less than four weeks. So she hit the 53kg weight class instead.

P.S. There are about six men in the world who’ve ever clean and jerked triple body weight.

THINGS TO…

WATCH: The Awakening, Part 1

The first in this three part series following six-time CrossFit Games athlete Marcus Filly, part 1 explores his athletic background, and his thoughts and viewpoints on training and encountering fear.

MEET MARCUS.

HEAR: Barbells for Boobs

Zionna Hanson, founder of Barbells for Boobs, heads over to CrossFit HQ to join the podcast. She demonstrates how to perform a breast self-exam and talks about how B4B is leading the way for breast cancer awareness in the CrossFit community.

TUNE IN.

EAT: Roasted Sweet Potatoes with Miso-Tahini Sauce

This addictive three-ingredient sauce can go on anything. Make a double batch and spoon the extras over just about any meat, your next grain bowl, or thin it out with a little extra vinegar and use it as a salad dressing.

START COOKING.

BUY: Captain America Bumper Plates

Onnit’s Marvel collection is currently 20% off, but act fast before all the bumper plates are sold out.

CROSSFINITY WARS.

Today’s edition of the Morning Chalk Up is powered by

CHALK UP COMMUNITY

• IT’S FOR EVERYONE — Former University of South Florida football player and coach at CrossFit Sabal Park in Tampa, FL, started a new weightlifting program for young men with developmental disabilities. Marky Oliver was training a client who runs a group home for people with special needs. When one of them showed up to the gym, Marky got the idea to start a new program.
• MUST READ — A day-by-day account inside the life of 30-year-old athlete Emily Molnar at Subversus Fitness, who was diagnosed with CNS Lymphoma in February 2018 and continues to train and study for her L1 while fighting cancer. 

CHALK UP IN 2 MINUTES (a highlight reel around social media of CrossFit pros and average joes)

Trevor Battah has only one arm and he can do rope climbs • This is the deepest deficit handstand push-up we’ve ever seen • You don’t need weights when you have an English Bull Dog • Happy 27th birthday Noah Ohlsen • Jacob Heppner eats pasta with his Corgi. 

…and this is what chalk buckets are actually made for.

Sheila Barden on being strong…“I’ve heard it all over the years: ‘You look like a man.’ ‘You’re on steroids.’ ‘I’d never want to look bulky/muscular like you.’ ‘Gross.’ More often than not I’ve bit my tongue when someone dared to speak up with rudeness. Their insecurities about their own bodies radiating through with each word. I took it all in stride, knowing that their vision of perfect wasn’t mine, and hoping that someday they too would find self-love.

But in the past few months, more and more comments have become: ‘You look great!’ ‘I love your body.’ ‘I’m jealous of your dedication.’ The energy in the world is definitely shifting, and my heart grows fuller and fuller everyday, knowing that little girls and little boys will be able to grow up and be anything they want to be. Little girl football stars, and little boy ballerinas, and muscular women and wild men. A new generation is emerging, and acceptance is at the forefront.” 

“Your Face is Fine Dr.Danger” by Jessica Danger, Bitches Be Weightlifting

One of my goals this year is a 300 pound deadlift. After hovering at 265 for a few weeks, I slipped into 275 as a top set and was stoked. Then, a few weeks later I pulled 275 for three, easy, and I was PUMPED. So I did what all excellent strength athletes do. I abandoned my program, grabbed two 15 pound plates and threw those bad boys on for a personal best at 305.

Nothing like reaching your year end goal in April.

I approached the bar the only way I know how, like I wanted to punch it in it’s face if it had one, I tipped and braced, and I pulled.

Nothing. Duh.

But you knew that. I knew it, too. I wasn’t prepared for 305. Especially as an unplanned, off-program top set out of nowhere! I posted the lift to Instagram, made a little joke, apologized to my coach, and got back to work.

But do you know what else I wasn’t prepared for? The direct messages (please notice this is plural. PLURAL!) I got about my face.

5/4 – 5/5: Tough As Nails (Lubbock, TX)5/4 – 5/5: No Gutz No Glory (Denver, CO)

5/4 – 5/5: Throwdown in Joe Town (St. Joseph, MO)

5/4 – 5/6: European Masters Throwdown (Budapest, Hungary)

5/5 – 5/6: Tribal Clash (Quarteira, Portugal)

5/5 – 5/6: Barbell de Mayo (Woodbridge, VA)

5/5 – 5/6: Manila Throwdown (Manila, Philippines)

5/5: Cinco de Mayo Classic (San Antonio, TX)

5/5: The Locomotive Games III (Youngstown, OH)

5/5: Granite Games Throwdown (Southaven, MS)

5/5: Battle of the Boro (Goldsboro, NC)

5/5: New WODs on the Block (Grand Rapids, MI)

5/5: The Crawfish Challenge (Columbia, SC)

5/5: Masters of the Shed (Roxbury, NJ)

5/5: Never Forgotten Games (Redding, CA)

5/5: Burpees de Mayo (Phoenix, AZ)

​5/5: Cinco de Rowing Half Marathon (Sikeston, MO)

5/5: Black and Brewed (Huntsville, AL)

5/11 – 5/12: Beast Mode Games (Greenville, SC)

5/11 – 5/12: Midwest Monster (Joplin, MO)

5/11 – 5/12: Reebok’s Ready for Action – Fittest in Israel (Israel)

5/12: Barbells for Bullies (Danbury, CT)

5/12: The Mountain Meltdown (Park City, UT)

5/12: The 5th Element (Bedford, NH)

5/12: Soho Brawl (Tampa, FL)

5/12: Fallout in the Falls (Wichita Falls, TX)

5/12: Unfinished Business – The Lift Off (Pottstown, PA)

5/12: Masters of the Universe (Horsham, PA)

5/12: Vegas Barbell Brodown (Las Vegas, NV)

5/18 – 5/20: East Regional (Albany, NY)

5/18 – 5/20: Europe Regional (Berlin, Germany)

5/18 – 5/20: South Regional (Salt Lake City, UT)

5/19: Raising the Bar for Recovery (Medina, OH)

5/19: East Coast Battle (Hanover, MD)

5/19: Barbells in the Burbs (Carol Stream, IL)

5/19: Gladiator Games (Concord, NC)

5/19: The Pillage of Palm Harbor (Palm Harbor, FL)

5/19: Spring Fling Partner Throwdown (San Anselmo, CA)

5/19: SilverFox Masters Competition (San Clemente, CA)

5/19: Ultimate Fitness Championship (Kennewick, WA)

5/19: Warriors Hope 2018 (Greenwood, IN)

5/19: T-Town Throwdown (Tifton, GA)

5/19: Murph for Muts (Peachtree Corners, GA)

5/19: Firehawks Scorch Trials (Rio Rancho, NM)

5/19: Denton Fitness Festival (Denton, TX)

5/19 – 5/20: GameDay Mankato (Mankato, MN)

5/25 – 5/27: West Regional (Del Mar, CA)

5/25 – 5/27: Central Regional (Nashville, TN)

5/25 – 5/27: Latin America Regional (Rio de Janiero, Brazil)

5/26: Beauty is a Beast 2 (Indian Rocks Beach, FL)

5/27 – 5/28: 24 Heroes in 24 Hours (Southborough, MA)

6/1 – 6/3: Atlantic Regional (West Palm Beach, FL)

6/1 – 6/3: Meridian Regional (Madrid, Spain)

6/1 – 6/3: Pacific Regional (Sydney, Australia)

6/2: Kegs and Kilos (Manhattan, KS)

6/2: Long Island Masters (Hauppauge, NY)

6/2: Texas WOD Fest (Houston, TX)

6/2: Tacos and Tequila Throwdown (Highlands Ranch, CO)

6/2: Meshugge CrossFit Summer Melee (Overland Park, KS)

6/3: Summer Sizzler Individual Masters Competition (Burlington, MA)

6/9: Beastette Bash at CrossFit Ananda (Arlington, TX)

6/9: Gulf Coast Games (Mandeville, LA)

6/9: WOD Wars 6 (Humble, TX)

6/9: Big Orange Brawl (Knoxville, TN)

6/9: Heroes of the Platform (Meridian, ID)

6/9 – 6/10: The Heartland Games 2018 (Chicago, IL)

6/9 – 6/10: Alaka’i SUPER Summer Slam (Kapolei, HI)

6/16: Battle on the Creek (Johns Creek, GA)

6/16: Full Battle Rattle (Robinson, IL)

6/16: East Coast War (Wilmington, NC)

6/19: Gauntlett VIII – River Rumble (Portsmouth, OH)

6/23: Garage Girls CrossFit Grit (St. Simons Island, GA)

6/23: 2018 Summer Swolestice (Gresham, OR)

6/23: HAMCO Heat (McLeansboro, IL)

6/23 – 6/24: Asbury Park Summer Games (Asbury Park, NJ)

6/23 – 6/24: The Dakota Games (Fargo, ND)